ICE ICE BABY: J6 Defendant Jake Lang Got Chased Out of Minneapolis, So Naturally He's Coming Back
- Patrick Duggan
- Jan 29
- 5 min read
Updated: Jan 29
The Man Who Spent 4 Years in Federal Custody for Attacking Cops Now Organizes Rallies Supporting Federal Agents Who Kill Citizens
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the most 2026 sentence I will write today:
A January 6th defendant who spent four years in federal pretrial detention for allegedly assaulting police officers is now touring the country organizing pro-ICE rallies in cities where ICE has killed citizens.
And he plays "Ice Ice Baby" at the rallies.
Unironically.
I need you to sit with that.
ROUND 1: January 17th, 2026
Jake Lang, 30-year-old "conservative influencer" from New York, currently running for Marco Rubio's Florida Senate seat, organized his "March Against Minnesota Fraud" rally outside Minneapolis City Hall.
Pro-ICE rally: ~10 people
Counterprotest: Hundreds
"Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice
I cannot stress enough that this is real.
Burn a Quran (didn't do it)
March through a predominantly immigrant neighborhood (didn't happen)
Stand with ICE (stood briefly, then ran)
What Actually Happened:
Hundreds of counterprotesters surrounded Lang's tiny group, backing them against a recessed window of City Hall. In sub-zero temperatures, the counterprotesters threw snowballs and water balloons.
Video footage shows Jake Lang, soaking wet, repeatedly pleading:
"Please stop."
The man who spent four years in federal custody for his role in January 6th... begging protesters to stop throwing snowballs at him.
The Stabbing Claim:
After fleeing, Lang posted on X: "I just got stabbed... today in Minnesota."
NBC News could not independently verify this claim. The Minneapolis Police Department confirmed they were "aware of social media accounts of him being assaulted" but noted:
No police report has been filed.
A man who spent four years claiming to be a political prisoner... didn't file a police report for an alleged stabbing.
ROUND 2: February 7th, 2026
Did Jake Lang learn from Round 1? Did the snowballs teach him humility? Did the "please stop" moment give him pause?
ABSOLUTELY NOT.
From his X account, January 29th:
🚨CALLING ALL CRUSADERS & PATRIOTS; WE ARE RETURNING TO MINNEAPOLIS NEXT WEEK!!!!! 📍 MINNESOTA STATE CAPITOL @ FEBRUARY 7th - 12 NOON!!😳😳 We have officially SECURED the PERMIT for the Rotunda!! 🇺🇸 ICE WILL BE ARRESTING VIOLENT LEFTIST RIOTERS THIS TIME! WE STAND WITH 🧊
He got a permit this time. For the Rotunda. Inside the building.
Because when you get chased out of a city by hundreds of people throwing snowballs, the correct response is to come back and try again, but indoors.
THE IRONY SINGULARITY
Let me lay out the layers here:
Layer 1: The January 6th Connection
Assaulting officers
Civil disorder
Multiple federal charges
He spent four years in pretrial detention. Never went to trial. Got pardoned by Trump on January 21st, 2025, along with ~1,500 other J6 defendants.
Layer 2: The Federal Agent Situation
Lang now organizes rallies supporting ICE - federal agents.
The same category of personnel he allegedly assaulted on January 6th? Federal agents.
The people he's now rallying for? Federal agents.
Layer 3: The Minneapolis Context
Lang chose Minneapolis. The city where:
Renee Nicole Good was killed by ICE
Alex Pretti, a VA nurse, was killed by ICE
Commander Gregory Bovino declared "This is OUR fucking city"
The same Bovino was found "outright lying" under oath by a federal judge
Layer 4: The "Please Stop" Moment
A man who participated in an event where protesters attacked police officers with flagpoles...
...was filmed begging counterprotesters to stop throwing snowballs at him.
Layer 5: The Unverified Stabbing
Claims he was stabbed. Didn't file a police report. The same movement that screams "FAKE NEWS" about everything wants us to believe an undocumented injury claim.
THE RECEIPTS
Claim | Reality |
"Rally" | 10 people |
Counterprotest | Hundreds |
Quran burning | Didn't happen |
March through immigrant neighborhood | Didn't happen |
"Stabbed" | No police report filed |
Standing with ICE | Fled while begging "please stop" |
Coming back Feb 7th | Yes, unfortunately |
THE SOUNDTRACK
He played "Ice Ice Baby" at a pro-ICE rally.
The 1990 Vanilla Ice hit.
"Ice Ice Baby."
At an ICE rally.
This is the level of discourse we're operating at.
Fun fact: Vanilla Ice sampled "Under Pressure" by Queen and David Bowie without permission and had to settle out of court.
Make of that what you will.
WHAT TO EXPECT FEBRUARY 7TH
Lang has a permit this time. He's going indoors. He's learned that Minneapolis winters are cold and snowballs hurt.
ICE arrests of "violent leftist rioters"
Crusaders and Patriots
Standing with 🧊
More than 10 supporters
Filing police reports if allegedly assaulted
Not playing "Ice Ice Baby"
THE MINNEAPOLIS TIMELINE (UPDATED)
Date | Event |
January 2026 | Operation Metro Surge begins |
Early January | Renee Nicole Good killed by ICE |
Mid-January | Alex Pretti (VA nurse) killed by ICE |
January 17 | Jake Lang rally - 10 people, chased out, claims stabbing |
January 29 | Lang announces Round 2 |
February 7 | Lang returns to State Capitol Rotunda |
Two citizens killed. One federal commander caught lying under oath. One J6 defendant playing Vanilla Ice and begging protesters to stop throwing snowballs.
I POLITELY DISAGREE
Jake Lang thinks Minneapolis needs him.
Jake Lang thinks "Crusaders and Patriots" will fill the Rotunda.
Jake Lang thinks ICE will arrest "violent leftist rioters" at his rally.
Jake Lang got 10 people to show up last time and fled while pleading "please stop."
I politely disagree with Jake Lang's assessment of the situation.
THE CAVAN VERDICT
In Cavan, if you got chased out of a town once, you wouldn't go back.
You'd find a different town. Or stay home. Or develop a sense of self-preservation.
Jake Lang is not from Cavan.
Jake Lang is coming back to the city that threw snowballs at him in sub-zero temperatures until he begged them to stop.
This is not strategy. This is not courage. This is content creation.
He's farming engagement from the humiliation. Round 2 will generate more content than Round 1. The "stabbing" that wasn't reported to police generated headlines.
The cruelty isn't the point. The content is the point.
And Minneapolis, apparently, is the set.
Sources
NBC News: Jan. 6 provocateur says he was stabbed at pro-ICE Minneapolis rally
Al Jazeera: Anti-ICE rally chases off US far-right influencer
Newsweek: Freed January 6 Prisoner Launches Bid for Congress
Jake Lang's X account (@JakeLang) - January 29, 2026
Patrick Duggan is a Minneapolis resident who will not be attending Jake Lang's rally on February 7th. He will, however, be monitoring the situation from a safe distance with a cup of coffee and a sense of profound exhaustion.
This is OUR fucking city. The receipts are on file. The snowballs are ready.
🎵 "Ice Ice Baby, too cold, too cold..." 🎵
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